TO MY FUTURE LOVE

You.

There will be times when I will do nothing but love you very much unconditionally. However there will also be times when I am a raging river who will use the force of a powerful current to push you away from me and drag you underwater.

I will tell you I love you a hundred times a day, but I will only fill those words with so much feeling when you’re fast asleep and cannot hear the words I say.

I will have moments when I will not want to touch you, in fear that I will burn you if I do.

I will have moments when I can’t get enough of you.

I won’t tell you if I am filled with sadness or anger, so I am sorry if I expect you to just hug me when I feel this way.

I will not want your sympathy, yet I will want your understanding.

I may have days when I will not let you touch my scars, because they will remind me of how terrible I am, even if you will call them beautiful.

There will be days when I will shut you out with force of thousand suns

There will be days when I will share a light on ever aspect of my life.

I wish you will be able to understand me. I will make you understand me. I will do the same.

I will argue with you but I will never nag on you.

For all of this, I am deeply sorry.

But once I decided to break down my walls,

I will love you with everything I have, and I hope that that is enough to make you stay.

So wherever you are, please do not let anyone or anything kill your laughter. Do not turn your smile into frown. Instead, laugh and smile freely until the day we meet. I cannot dry your tears or embrace you right now, so please take care of yourself. I hope you look at what’s inside the heart of people.

I am praying for you. I will love you whoever you are.
I’m cautious of where my heart lands and I pray that it’s safe in your hands.

I love you to the stars.

Love,

Janine.

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