THE INVISIBLE CHECKLIST

Do you remember puberty? Of course, you do! You rather not bring it up, and that’s totally fine! Those memories aren’t exactly fond for many — bad acne all over the face and back, voice cracking, unbelievable mood changes, and uncomfortable and unpleasant awkwardness. Yet, we all saw it coming it and made our way through it. It’s funny how we do not call adolescence a “crisis”. Why tho? Because it’s a normal part of growing up.

At some point in our lives, we face a crisis, but to tell you, I hope that it’s just like our puberty crisis, but that’s not how most people treat it. We can get caught up in a tremendous amount of judgment — thinking that we are alone, that there is something wrong with us, or that we should have all figured out by now.

Sometimes, we create this invisible checklist to live our lives by. We develop a master plan that we pressure ourselves to stick to it. High school, then getting into college, then getting a stable job, then maybe further studies to some, then immediate promotion, then getting into a relationship, then signing up for marriage, then acquiring properties, then having children, then a lot of money, and so the long list continues. It doesn’t need a rocket scientist or a genius like Albert Einstein to figure out why these invisible checklists exist: expectations and certainty. Checklists and plans give us a sense of security and control. But sometimes planning isn’t the recipe for success but rather more like a whip-up doubt and worry.

Note: There is nothing wrong with planning, but obsessing over it might not bring us any good.

Anticipation lives in the future.

Depression signs a lease in the past.

When we make plans, we are consumed with worry about achieving everything on that list, and then we feel heavy with regret as we think about things we are missing out on.

“Having it all” is usually what we want in life. We grow up hearing that if we apply ourselves, we can get anything we want. So we put everything we want on our life goals list.

I believe that having it all at once is a myth — but certainly, we can have it all at different times in our lives.

The problem is, we get to be so obsessed about the future that we overextended ourselves and burnt out by trying to accomplish all our goals right now. Dear, one at a time.

If you are facing such a quandary and confusion about your plans, get into the present! Be proud of your accomplishments, and don’t forget to have some fun. Do the things that you like and take some pressure off.

Every day is the best time for self-discovery, and self-discovery is one of the curriculums of life. Everyday happenings provide some clay that we will mold into our lives. Every day is just a piece of being who has always ‘known’ what we would do in life. The deep sense of not knowing what is ahead of us is so hard to deal with but we must never forget to live the moment.

The COVID-19 pandemic has greatly affected achieving our dreams and life goals. But right now, we are slowly making our dreams come true though there are undoubtedly many challenges and struggles to deal with. But I hope that this brings you comfort somehow.