let it in

I think it’s sadder when one takes his or her life away than if someone was just to die. I just hope that one does not forget what it’s like to be happy because some people (after being sad for too long) end up not knowing any better

I just want to tell everyone that I’m here for you.
And for everyone who are reading this, I hope you check your friends more often.

The world can be such a beautiful place if you let it in,

if you let it in.

thoughts thoughts thoughts

There something in my brain that’s not really formed yet. An idea about being who your are. Crisis comes when your thoughts and your actions don’t match. When you want to be brave but you hide, when you apologize even though you don’t believe you should. That kind of thing. Everyone wants to be who they think they should be. They want what they do and they think they should do to match.

So, they handle it in one of two different ways. One tries to reconcile the two by teaching their actions to match their thoughts. This is hard and disappointing and slippery, and you could change your thoughts one day and have to start over again. In fact, you probably will, because with that much introspection growth is so inevitable.

The other tries to reconcile thought to action. They justify, they fabricate reasons for the things they do and recite them like a mantra, like a lullaby until they believe them. This way is easier. It takes less work, the less toll on the ego. It takes the introspection out of the question. It’s the method of choice for the reactive, those broken into defensiveness. But it just breaks us any further. The cost of twisting your own mind like that no matter how adamant about it you may be, I believe that there’s some part of everyone.

artwork by Rachael Kacapyr

L-I-F-E

Isn’t life strange?

No one has any idea what to do with it, not really.

They know what they ‘should’ do with it bases on what society or people around say.

Fall in love but not too often

Travel the world but not for too long, you have a career

Make money, but not too much that you forget who you are

Be kind, but not so kind that you are taken advantage of

Be strong but not stronger than someone ranked higher than you

Trust people but not everyone

There are so many things people get told on how to live their own lives by other people. But maybe we should accept life for what it is.

Days that air is in our lungs,

A heart that still beats and

A mind that still wonders about the things we don’t know about.

Life is strange,

but it’s incredibly wonderful that we are given it.

DROWN

“I always loved swimming.

I loved the feel of water rippling against my body until I found the worst way was to be scared of drowning.”

Read an article this morning and I kinda like to write about it.

Thank you 2018, next

This year taught me a lot.

2017 is one of the best years.

2018 seemed to be a little challenging, I lost myself. I have encountered a lot of challenges which I cannot discuss to anyone. 2018 brought back my series of mental breakdown. This is not a joke, sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night haunted by the problems I cannot tell anyone. I had that for almost half of 2018 and nobody noticed. Nobody ever asked if I am okay or not they got carried away with my smile

This year I passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers, I thought this is going to be a super goodie year until God took back my grandmas. And the plot twist of my 2018 happened just happened few months ago.

2018 is the year I did not expect. I lost myself. I lost it. But I am glad that I have the right amount of everything I have right now. I am grateful for having my family, my friends, and those special people in my life. But most importantly, I have God.

I am beyond happy writing this post right now.

I may be a little upset,

but don’t worry,

I’ll be okay.

Thank you all for the support! Thank you for taking time to read my poems. Thank you for encouraging me to write.

Happy New Yeaaar! 🎉😊

Love youu 🦊