We could die, anytime

At any given moment, we could die.

There could be an accident, a crash, the whole word could explode.

The worst part would not be dying

it would be

dying with the regret and saying

“I wish I did that…”

Live your life to the fullest!

I.

Somehow

I write to an audience that doesn’t reply (but I always keep receiving reviews which is really overwhelming). I don’t get much shares or reblogs. But I like the idea that people read them regardless.

It’s okay if you don’t post that button, but I hope my writings give impact to someone, whether good or bad, it’s good to know that someone out there was moved by my words.

I just want to make you feel the spectrum of emotions.

TO MY FUTURE LOVE

You.

There will be times when I will do nothing but love you very much unconditionally. However there will also be times when I am a raging river who will use the force of a powerful current to push you away from me and drag you underwater.

I will tell you I love you a hundred times a day, but I will only fill those words with so much feeling when you’re fast asleep and cannot hear the words I say.

I will have moments when I will not want to touch you, in fear that I will burn you if I do.

I will have moments when I can’t get enough of you.

I won’t tell you if I am filled with sadness or anger, so I am sorry if I expect you to just hug me when I feel this way.

I will not want your sympathy, yet I will want your understanding.

I may have days when I will not let you touch my scars, because they will remind me of how terrible I am, even if you will call them beautiful.

There will be days when I will shut you out with force of thousand suns

There will be days when I will share a light on ever aspect of my life.

I wish you will be able to understand me. I will make you understand me. I will do the same.

I will argue with you but I will never nag on you.

For all of this, I am deeply sorry.

But once I decided to break down my walls,

I will love you with everything I have, and I hope that that is enough to make you stay.

So wherever you are, please do not let anyone or anything kill your laughter. Do not turn your smile into frown. Instead, laugh and smile freely until the day we meet. I cannot dry your tears or embrace you right now, so please take care of yourself. I hope you look at what’s inside the heart of people.

I am praying for you. I will love you whoever you are.
I’m cautious of where my heart lands and I pray that it’s safe in your hands.

I love you to the stars.

Love,

Janine.

Ocean Blues

There this was this period in my life not too long ago in which I would go the beach almost every other day because its summer, its vacation and I have time. After our morning jog, it was fun to just say “Let’s go to the beach!” and just walk there and just collect shells or run from the tide.

I miss the beach, I always miss listening to its symphonic monotonous tone, the soft sand, the wind that seemed to glide with the beat and the crashing waves that make me feel that I can yell and no one can hear me. With the sea, you can cry and it just fades into the roar of the waves because it’s close to infinity as we can get.

Now that I’m stuck in school and home, I can’t steal time from my schedule and certain things give me the most nostalgia of the ocean whenever I encounter poems and stories or see a painting of an ocean. Or when I’m close to a pool in some places I go and I smell the chemicals, I get really sad and nostalgic. The sea felt like home than anything else in this world.

I want my ashes thrown in the ocean so that when ever my loved ones visit my grave and are reminded of what I used to be, they are staring at a beautiful blue sea.

J.