If nostalgia is an illusion

and we weren’t as golden as we seem

and i think i’ll have to avoid life

and keep spinning along in our dream

Image source: Wet Dream Kellydelrosso On Deviantart Abstract Dream Art


Festering wounds

never truly heal

someone always

comes along

to rip them open

until another person

kisses the cuts

and closes it up again




Photo by: Anna Wojtczak


Now I ask myself,

do humans should consider emotions as blessings?

because we can assert, identify and relate with others or

emotions are just freaking emotions which do not have correlation with our human existence

because it makes ourselves complicated? because it makes things complicated?

Emotions, especially negative emotions are destructive in the sense that I lose my sense of own self.

Photo by; Neeraj Parswal


I wish we could sleep tonight despite of everything that we’te going through.

I wish we could all have sweet dreams eventhough we are somehow wrecked and doomed.

We deserve peace.

Even just in our sleep.

Image by: Rajasekharan


Life was never easy.

Everytime I feel the hard time had just passed away, life gives me that bitchy smile, laughs the loudest sarcastic laugh it could.

Death is easy to embrace

but there I was.

I still chose life.

for this is what life wants from you; it wants you to live it to the fullest.

Life is when you face it all.


We were desperate.

Luck had run out for as long as we weren’t sure if we had ever been lucky at all or if we were just too young to understand misfortune, window pane hearts and chalkboard minds. If we noticed the scars in our own knees or the bruises on our skins, we haver never shown it. We were worried about the little things and pretended the big ones didn’t exist and we never stopped pretending until we were drowning in our uncertainty.

We scribble long lists on the back of receipts and stuck post it notes in the corners of our minds and at the top of the fridge because as long as we appeared organized and in control we could lie to ourselves that we were. We are excellent liars.

Coffee with two sachets of sugar and cream as if we still noticed the task and not because we relied on the caffaine to push through eight hours we spent wide awake and wondering about why everything felt so temporary and insincere. Happy and whole on the outside to hide the complacency within. We played our parts like we were supposed to, making the malaise inside feel more familiar that ever.