Skeleton in the Closet

Let me tell you a secret.

It doesn’t matter how bad you think you are at something. There’s always going to be someone who loves what you create. In the same breath, it doesn’t matter how good you think you at something.

There’s always going to be someone who hates what you create. You don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea. Everytime you pick up that pen or that brush or whatever it is, you’re improving. There’s no way for you to get worse.

So there’s no absolute point in quitting.

If you’re in it to please everyone.

You might be doing something wrong.

And I kept drinking …

“I kept drinking because it was the only time I felt alive. I kept drinking because I needed to stop thinking of jumping off the edge. I wanted to drown myself in something other than the melancholy feeling that surrounded me. I kept drinking to forget about the scars that covered my body, sometimes I think there’s more scar than skin. I kept drinking because sometimes I didn’t want to feel alive, I wanted numbness. I want to feel numb and blurry all over.”

#Excerpt

words

one is made of letters

properly sequenced,

in an order

to be able to deliver its meaning.

layered with tissue,

capable of breaking

and while a heart that can beat,

look alive

and still be empty

at the same time,

there are words that sprouted

from metaphors,

rhymes,

that are nothing less than

ironies.

beautiful

yet

meaningless.

TO MY FUTURE LOVE

You.

There will be times when I will do nothing but love you very much unconditionally. However there will also be times when I am a raging river who will use the force of a powerful current to push you away from me and drag you underwater.

I will tell you I love you a hundred times a day, but I will only fill those words with so much feeling when you’re fast asleep and cannot hear the words I say.

I will have moments when I will not want to touch you, in fear that I will burn you if I do.

I will have moments when I can’t get enough of you.

I won’t tell you if I am filled with sadness or anger, so I am sorry if I expect you to just hug me when I feel this way.

I will not want your sympathy, yet I will want your understanding.

I may have days when I will not let you touch my scars, because they will remind me of how terrible I am, even if you will call them beautiful.

There will be days when I will shut you out with force of thousand suns

There will be days when I will share a light on ever aspect of my life.

I wish you will be able to understand me. I will make you understand me. I will do the same.

I will argue with you but I will never nag on you.

For all of this, I am deeply sorry.

But once I decided to break down my walls,

I will love you with everything I have, and I hope that that is enough to make you stay.

So wherever you are, please do not let anyone or anything kill your laughter. Do not turn your smile into frown. Instead, laugh and smile freely until the day we meet. I cannot dry your tears or embrace you right now, so please take care of yourself. I hope you look at what’s inside the heart of people.

I am praying for you. I will love you whoever you are.
I’m cautious of where my heart lands and I pray that it’s safe in your hands.

I love you to the stars.

Love,

Janine.

FIND JOY IN EVERY SINGLE DAY

“The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.”

                            -Jean Jacques Rousseau, Emile (1762)

We all suffer something in our lives and sometimes, we becomes miserable to the point of thinking that living this life isn’t worth it anymore.
When we speak of “the good life”, what we mean by that is a life where the ordinary becomes extraordinary, the natural becomes miraculous, and the everyday becomes unique.
The everyday may seem to be made up only of small things, but let us believe in details. Every time we choose to embrace life, we are putting our best and truest face forward.
Have a nice day! 🙂