Do you remember puberty? Of course you do! You just rather not bring it up, and that’s totally fine! For many, those memories aren’t exactly fond ones — bad acne all over the face and back, voice cracking, unbelievable mood swings, and uncomfortable awkwardness. Yet, we all expected it and made our way through it. It’s funny how we do not call adolescence a “crisis”. Why tho? Because it’s a normal part of our development.
At some point in our lives, we face crisis but to tell you, I hope I can say that it’s just like our puberty crisis but that’s not how most people treat it. We can get caught up in a tremendous amount of judgement — thinking that we are alone, that there is something wrong with us, or that we should have all figured out by now.
Sometimes, we create this invisible checklist to live our lives by. We develop a masterplan that we pressure ourselves to stick to it. High school, then getting into college, then getting a stable job, then maybe further studies to some, then immediate promotion, then getting into a relationship, then signing up for marriage, then acquiring properties, then having children, then a lot of money, and so the long list continues. It doesn’t need a rocket scientist or a genius like Albert Einstein to figure out why these invisible checklists exists: expectations and certainty. Checklist and plans help us feel more secure and in control. But sometimes planning ahead isn’t really the recipe for success but rather more like a whip up doubt and worry.
Note: There is nothing wrong in planning ahead but obsessing over it might not bring us any good.
Anticipation lives in the future.
Depression signs a lease in the past.
When we make plans, we are consumed with worry about achieving everything on that list and then we feel heavy with regret as we think about things we are missing out on.
“Having it all” is usually what we want in life. We grow up hearing that if we apply ourselves, we can get anything we want. So we put everything we want on our life goals list.
I believe that having it all at once is a myth — but certainly we can have it all at different times in our lives.
The problem is, we get to be so obsessed about the future that we overextended ourselves and burnt out by trying to accomplish all our goals right now. Dear, one at a time.
If you are facing such quandary and confusion about your plans, get into the present! Be proud of your accomplishments and don’t forget to have some fun. Do the things that you like and take some pressure off.
Everyday is the best time for self-discovery and self-discovery is one of the curriculums of life. Everyday happenings provide some clay that we will mold into our lives. Everyday is just a piece of being one who has always ‘known’ what we would do in life. The deep sense of not knowing what is ahead of us is so hard to deal without but what we must always remember to live the moment.
The COVID-19 pandemic has taken a great effect on achieving our dreams and life goals. But right now, we are slowly on the process of making our dreams come true though there are surely a lot of challenges and struggles to deal with. But I hope that this brings you comfort somehow.