Cold Hands

Ever since,
every time my hands get cold and pale
nanay used to hold my hands

So, every time nanay’s hands get cold,
I learned to do the same.

Months ago,
Exactly during the cold rainy night of August
We were in a place surrounded by wonderland of clean sterile environment that smells strongly like cheap disinfectant

It was midnight,

I sat on one of the two chairs beside the bed

I noticed something, she doesn’t look okay.
nanay’s hands got so cold.

Soooo cold that it made everyone
come rushing into her room.

My hands were cold.

I was not frightened nor I was afraid.

What I felt was beyond mere nouns.

I froze for a moment.

What went wrong??
I tried to hold her hands
for a few seconds,
for a few minutes,
for almost an hour
but that night was different,
nanay’s hand stayed cold for a long time.

that night,
I realized that her hands can get even colder.
and that night,
I realized that
I’ll never again,
feel nanay’s warmth.

I miss my grandma.

26 Comments

  1. A beautiful tribute to your grandmother.
    May she always rest in peace.
    Hopeflly, you will find someone to warm up your hands.
    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Baffledmum says:

    Omg this is so sad… I’m sorry for your loss… 💔

    Liked by 2 people

  3. jesusluvsall says:

    Sad yet beautiful poem. Sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. kathyscrafts1 says:

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I Miss my Nannyto. Big hugs xx

    Liked by 2 people

  6. ilonapulianauskaite says:

    Breaking my❤️i’m so sorry

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Anupriya K says:

    This is heartbreaking!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. almerighi says:

    Da allora,
    ogni volta che le mie mani si raffreddano,
    Nanay mi tiene per mano
    Così, quando le mani di Nanay si raffreddano,
    ho imparato a fare lo stesso.
    7 mesi fa,
    in una fredda e piovosa notte di agosto
    in ospedale,
    le mani di Nanay sono diventate così fredde.
    Così fredde che ha fatto
    accorrere tutti a nella sua stanza
    Ero così spaventata.
    Mi bloccai per un momento.
    Cosa è andato storto??
    Ho provato a tenere le mani
    per alcuni secondi,
    per pochi minuti,
    per quasi un’ora
    ma quella notte era diversa,
    la mano di Nanay rimase fredda per molto tempo.
    quella notte,
    ho capito che le sue mani possono diventare ancora più fredde.
    e quella notte,
    mi resi conto che non
    avrei mai più, sentito il calore di Nanay.
    Mi manca mia nonna.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I appreaciate the translation. My heart flutters. It’s beautiful in your langauge. 🍃

      Liked by 1 person

  9. annaecamilla says:

    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Beautiful poetry!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m happy that you appreciate! Thank you! 🍃

      Like

      1. My pleasure.

        Like

  11. Condolences RIP⚫

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Tien Skye says:

    “nanay’s hand stayed cold for a long time.” and “I realized that her hands can get even colder.” These two lines broke me. Very beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much! 🙃 my heart is happy knowing that you appreciate this!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. An understated but oh so powerful expression of grief. My heart breaks for you.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Kamran says:

    Beautiful and heartwarming story ❤️❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Kamran says:

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    Liked by 2 people

  16. This is beautiful and so moving. It’s also vivid – I almost feel like I was there.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Flyhiee.com says:

    This is really sad.
    sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Bryan Wagner says:

    Yes. Thank you for sharing this very intimate time. Life is bittersweet. We are taught that over and over, and sometimes the lessons are overwhelming. But in the bitter lies the sweet and in the sweet lies the bitter. The oldest story of acceptance there is.
    Bows to you,
    Bryan

    Liked by 2 people

  19. This is beautiful ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  20. this breaks my heart…

    Like

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